The Excitement of Redefining Oneself
- September 28th, 2010
- By Ben
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During the past 15 months I have made drastic changes in my life. Most not by choice. Redefinition of who I am was part of that transition, whether I liked it or not, and now see it as a blessing beyond measure. Looking back, I see the changes with great clarity. While experiencing it, I could only see through the eyes of my closest friends, who were supportive and encouraging throughout.
I learned that when we choose to go through changes,we get more than what we asked for. A visualization I had of myself was similar to a character in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, being run through an old-fashioned washing machine with the roller. Just when I felt I was at a plateau through it all, more cranking of that roller, and more of me being pressed and wrung dry. I told many that at the end it was the hardest – mostly because it is hard to get a nose the size of mine through that roller!
Today I am feeling more secure and integrated.
One of my close friends observed that for the first time she could see me “wearing the clothes” of who I am versus carrying them in a suitcase for when I needed to put the right outfit on. Interesting observation and choice of metaphor.
In celebration, I am rediscovering the heros of my days of growing up. Two of them are experiencing a reenergizing as I experienced. Today is the release of the DVD set of television episodes of the Ellery Queen series on tv from the ’70s. I read every single Ellery Queen book available over and over again as a teen. I also worshiped the recordings of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra under the direction of Sir Georg Solti. I am now thrilled with the electric excite net my city of Chicago has for the new era with Ricardo Muti at the helm.
It was through Ellery Queen that I learned that I love problem solving. Give me a puzzle or a situation that needs resolving, and I will work on it until I figure it out. The elegance of the novels enthralled me, and the inevitable challenge to the reader at the end, where the detective challenges the reader to have a solution ready before the denouement was always a surprise for me.
I am loving the energy surrounding the arrival of Ricardo Muti to Chicago. I love the CSO. Their performances are thrilling and awe inspiring for me. To see and hear that 25,000 people attended Muti’s first performance of his tenure as Music Director is amazing.
I am relishing this feeling of excitement, and will hold on to it as I begin to blog again.